New Hosting Requirements

​​​By ISJL Education Fellow Mackenzie Haun
 
As you all know, when ISJL Education Fellows go on community visits they stay in people’s homes. This is generally a very positive experience and leads to bonding with congregational families. However, after much deliberation and feedback from past fellows over the last five years, we have decided to implement more specific requirements for prospective hosts. Here are the new expectations, broken down by time of day.
 
Morning

• No alarm clocks allowed; a fellow should wake no earlier than 9:30 am.
• Breakfast must be served in bed on a tray with flowers.
• Make sure your house is not haunted.
• The shower must be equipped with a way to change the shower pressure.
• Seriously, ensure there are no ghosts in your home.
• When the fellow is ready to dress for the day, the host should offer anything from their own closet.

 
Daytime/General

• The thermostat should be set to 18 °C as everything must be as Jewish as possible.
• The only spirits in your home should be liquor bottles, which should be available to fellows.
• Please be sure to install mothballs in the closet three months in advance. Fellows love the familiar smell of a bubbe’s (grandmother’s) house!
• Obviously, remember to exorcise all demons before the fellow’s arrival.
• In order to ensure privacy, providing a guest house for the fellow is the best option. If this request cannot be completed, a wing of your home or a suite is acceptable.

 
Night

• Be sure to obtain this night light and insert it in the fellow’s room at night to ward off any phantoms you missed.
• You must put the fellow to bed by tucking them in and reading them a bedtime story—nothing too scary and preferably the tale should be Jewish.
• No ghouls.
• The door to the bedroom should have a lock on it to keep out any wanderers and midnight snackers.
• NO GHOSTS.
• For the love of all that is holy, just make sure your house is not haunted! We have had far too many issues with this.

 
Please contact anyone at the ISJL if you have any questions about these new guidelines. We hope to hear that hosts implemented these ideas in our next round of visits. Happy Haunting!